Glass of Milk
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Elsie)
Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?
Optimist:
The glass is half full.
Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.
Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?
C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
MIS Analyst:
I'll drink it if you can give me until next year.
Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.
Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
Windows users:
Where's my straw?
Mac users:
Where's my pump?
UNIX users:
Nahh . . . too easy.
Multimedia author:
Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?
CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?
NSA:
We know what it really is.
Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
Schroedinger:
That damned cat got into the milk again!
Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is
good for you.
IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.