Glossary of Common Computer Terms

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Tony)

ALPHA:        An early working copy of a program, prone to crashes. See
              "BETA."

AUTOEXEC.BAT: Hell in a very small file.

BETA:         An early, working copy of a program, prone to crashes,
              and shrink-wrapped for retail.  See "BUG PATCH."

BOOT DISK:    The virus laden floppy you just left in someone's disk
              drive.  "Oh don't worry, it's only my boot disk."

BUG PATCH:    Modifies existing programs by changing current bugs into
              new ones.  See "UPGRADE."

CONFIG.SYS:   See "AUTOEXEC.BAT."

CD-ROM:       A high-tech drink coaster.

EDUATAINMENT: Games that are neither entertaining nor educational, sold
              to guilty parents.

END USER:     Someone less computer literate than you are.

HARD DRIVE:   Getting from Fairbanks to Portland in December.

HARDWARE      24 pages of Korean limericks printed upside down.
MANUAL:

INTERACTIVE   Although a lot like television, you actually must sit
MOVIE:        much closer to the screen in order for it to work.

JUMPERS:      Impossibly small pieces of plastic that end-users are
              supposed to use as manually configured circuit breakers.

MACINTOSH:    Expensive computers lacking both good games and
              disk-eject buttons.

PLATFORM      A window washer with a high-powered rifle.
SHOOTER:

PLUG AND      Plug it in and start playing right away.  Also known as
PLAY:         Nintendo.

PRINTER:      An evil leech that hooks onto your PC and demands a
              constant supply of fresh ink and paper. _NEVER_ try to
              feed one an envelope.

RAM:          Like money, there's never enough to go around.

ROLEPLAYING   A group of people gather together, create their own
GAME:         characters, and share adventures.  In computer terms, a
              lone user playing a premade character in a predetermined
              storyline through a cumbersome interface.

SHAREWARE:    When Mom makes you share your games with your little
              brother. Yuck!

SIMULATION:   Too boring to be called a game, but too inaccurate to be
              educational, hence it "simulates" both.

TECH SUPPORT  A direct line to a company's voice mail system.
NUMBER:

UPGRADE:      A shrink wrapped bug patch, often an early working
              version. See "ALPHA."

Comments, suggestions, flames, etc.
tellswor@slonet.org

Use the BACK button to return.

Or go to the Good Clean Fun Main Page
(Graphics Version) or (Text-Only Version)