Southernese


Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Conrad)


Yorta have a lookit thisun: Yankee's guide to "Southernese". If you do not understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.


FOAL: Not a baby horse. This is flexible aluminum for baking.
Usage: "I put the taters in foal, afore I baked um."

HEIDI:(noun) Greeting.

HIRE YEW:(complete sentence) Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH: (noun) A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

RANCH:(noun) A tool used for tightnin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL:(noun) A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR:(noun) A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR:(noun) A rubber wheel.
Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

BAMMER:(noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Muntgumry.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer."

COLE DRANK: (adjective/noun) A chilled beverage, typically soda.

THANK:(verb) Cognitive process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have me a cole drank."

DAYUM: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind."
Usage: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dayum."

IGNERT: (adjective) Not smart.
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

BAHS: (noun) A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

BAWL: (verb) What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
Usage: "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."

TIRE: (noun) A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD:(verb) To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

TARRED: (adjective) Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Et-lanna, and boy my arms are tarred."

OVAIR: (phrase) In that direction.
Usage: "Where's yo paw, son?" "He's ovair, suh."

FARN: (adjective) Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... Must be from some farn country."

DID: (adjective) Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe; give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

MUCHABLIGE: (phrase) Thank you.
Usage: "Muchablige for the lift, mister."

IDNIT: (phrase) Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't.
Usage: "Mighty hot today, idnit?"

SEED: (verb) Seen, past tense.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City."

VIEW: (phrase) Have You?
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... View?"

HEAVY DEW: (phrase) A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"


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